Contradictory
by fiesa
Summary: Contradictory to public opinion, Kushina is not in love with Minato. OneShot. Rated T for hints of child abuse.


**Contradictory**

_Summary: Contradictory to public opinion, Kushina is not in love with Minato. OneShot._

_Warnings: Hints of child prostitution. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

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* * *

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Contradictory to public opinion, Kushina is not in love with Minato. But she cannot stop the people and even less her friends from talking.

_You´ll find someone for you,_ her parents told her when she was small. Before they died.

Her grandmother tells her to pick him, before he is not available any more. _He´d be a good husband to you, my dear._

Anko says it is obvious. And _you´re stupid, by the way._

Kurenai says she is allowed to fall in love.

Dayana and Dan tell her she has to find a boyfriend, otherwise _you´ll die as an old maid_.

She does not deserve him, the people say. She is trying to seduce him. She is trying to get a hold on him, but she is not good enough. She will never reach his level. She is just a normal, average kunoichi, and everyone knows what she does, what kind of missions she receives. She is just another one of many people that protect Hidden Leaf in their own ways, that belong to the same generation the man who, as everyone whispers, will be the next Hokage. She does not stand out, she does not glow, she is just plain normal. And dangerous, but in her own ways. She should not believe he would notice her, but she still does. Or at least, that is what the people say.

They are all wrong.

Kushina is not in love with Namikaze Minato.

* * *

She does not even see him that often. He is one of the great shinobi of her village, he takes S-ranked missions while the best she has done was a B-class one that turned to A-rank at some place. He is the youngest jounin in town, while she had to struggle to become chuunin, he is incredibly brilliant and already has developed one or two jutsu of his own while she goes along with the ones she has been taught by her family happily. Their paths have crossed at some times, but not as often as others seem to believe, always leaving her with the same impression: He is not as natural as anyone believes he is.

She has known him since the academy, but he soon left the class and her behind. She only saw him now and then during lunch break, mostly surrounded by a pack of girls. The boys either hated or envied him. After she graduated – one year later than him – he already was placed on a team and her in another one. Now, they are both jounin and the only time she sees him is when the Third calls in a meeting or when they accidentally meet in the long corridors of the Hokage´s tower. Every time he crosses her path he is nice, he is polite and he is smiling. Kushina thinks his smile is a little bit too forced. It is too bright, too happy to be natural. It is the smile she uses when she visits her grandmother in the hospital, the smile she has perfected after her parents died and she had to tell Dayana and Dan they would never return but she would always be there for them. Minato always wears that smile, and Kushina wonders why nobody ever noticed how strained it has become over the last months and years.

From the few times they have met, she knows he is not only friendly but also polite. He greets her in the corridors and lets her pass first, holds the door for her and offers to carry her bags. She never takes him up on his offer, and he never shows disappointment. If he wants to carry other people´s packs so badly, she figures, there are about a million other women who´d love to let him. He is popular in the village, no doubt, and he is good-looking, even Kushina has to admit. His blond, messy hair and his deep, blue eyes are handsome, and his attitude and smile make many woman dream of being his girlfriend. Kushina likes the way he looks – but she does not like the way _everyone_ likes him just because of his outer appearance. At some point, even the male inhabitants of Hidden Leaf have fallen for him. He is strong, he is intelligent and he never attempts to snatch away the girls. He is a good friend, a loyal comrade, and a good captain and already now every single shinobi would follow him to hell and back. Little wonder the Third has chosen him for his successor.

Kushina thinks he would be a good Hokage.

But other than that, there is not much she thinks about that is related to him. She has her own life, her own sorrows, her own missions, and she really has no idea why everyone seems to believe she is in love with the man.

He is good-looking.

He is nice and polite.

He is successful.

The only thing that bothers her is his smile. The one that does not seem _right_. And the fact that one never can read his expression. If she is good at one thing, it is at reading the thoughts behind a person´s face. With him, it´s impossible.

Minato is the sky and Kushina is a small, boring flower on the ground. There is no way their paths will ever cross, and she does not regret it.

* * *

Every Saturday morning, she visits the graveyard.

Not the Hero´s stone, but the old, small Konoha cemetery, on which civilians are buried. Her parents lie here, in two small, inconspicuous graves, sleeping for all eternity, a small, white stone marking their resting place. Green moss has claimed the carved letters. Wild flowers bloom. Her mother would have loved it. Kushina crouches down to begin her little routine: a prayer, a few words, and a few memories. When suddenly someone almost steps on her.

"Wha – hey!"

Kushina glances skywards and sees the bright blue eyes of Namikaze Minato gaze at her.

"Good morning, Uzumaki-San. How are you?"

"I´m fine, thanks", she answers automatically and straightens. She is not tall, but kneeling on the ground while he is looming over her is irritating.

"I hope you are, too?"

He nods, a tense nod, and suddenly she sees he is not smiling. Her brows crease. He does not seem to notice, he just stares at the stone next to her parents´ one. She follows his gaze and wonders what has brought him out here in the morning. He catches up on the uncomfortable silence immediately and smiles. She wants to sigh.

"What brings you out this early?"

"I´m here to visit my parents." She gestures over to the stone. Minato realizes within seconds that his bright smile is inappropriate.

"I´m sorry."

"They died years ago", she answers. "It´s okay." There is no dirt on her skirt, but she brushes it away anyway.

"I´d better get going."

"I´ll walk you."

They walk in silence. The birds in the trees still continue their morning concert. The sun slowly warms the green grass.

"Is there something you´d change in Konoha, if you had the chance?", he suddenly asks and catches her by surprise. She watches him from the corners of her eyes and wonders how serious his face suddenly has become.

"I don´t know", she says. "I´m just a simple kunoichi. Politics and such stuff is quite out of my league."

"I don´t think so", he answers and gazes at the sky distractedly. "I think you know a lot more than you let show."

Again, silence falls. Something is seething inside him, she realizes, halfway between being flattered and wary. Something he cannot share with anyone else from the village. Perhaps he does not want to share it with her, either, and probably she does not want to know, but she does not say anything.

They walk.

"It´s not right", he bursts out, so sudden it almost makes her jump. "It´s just not _right._ We can´t send children onto such… such _missions_!" He almost spits out the last words. "It´s bad enough every eight-years-old kid can be a genin nowadays. It´s even worse we send them into the enemies' territory and let them fight. They´re children, damnit! They should spend their time at home, playing and annoying their teachers…"

His hand messes up his hair.

"It´s bad enough we send them into war, teach them to kill and to fight. But it´s the worst we send them unto _such_ missions! No child should even be confronted with things like this until they´re old enough to understand! No, not even then – no child should _ever _be forced to prostitute itself for Konoha´s sake!"

He´s probably talking about missions he has been handing out lately, and children he knows, probably. Maybe he is even talking about his own students, who, from what she hears, are quite brilliant themselves. But while she can piece together the puzzle pieces, she does not want to say anything. Not on this topic. She shivers and pulls her light jacket closer around herself.

"Children shouldn´t live like that. They should have a nice, simple childhood, play outside, go to school, do…"

"The problem is that life never is that easy", she interrupts him sharply, unable to keep quiet any longer. "The problem isn´t the fact that children _want_ to do things like that, Namikaze-San. The problem is that sometimes, they have _no other_ _choice!"_

He falls silent immediately. She can see understanding downing in his eyes. He must have read her file – _of course he has – _and just has remembered the contents. As, undoubtedly, he must have remembered she was the last person that wanted to talk to him on that subject. She met his eyes – knowing she would see pity or worse – and froze.

There was no pity in his eyes, no faked emotions – there was just _understanding._ Plain and simple. There was nothing she could say. Namikaze Minato had grown up with his parents both alive – she knew that much – and still, there was something in his eyes that made her believe he knew how she felt, he knew her pain and her anger and her desperation as well as she knew them herself. And he _felt_ them, too. It was impossible, but still – there he was, and everything she had been feeling since her parents had died was written plainly across his features. Shaking, she turned away and continued to walk towards the gate, her walk almost a run. He caught up with her after a few moments and a hand carefully touched her arm.

"I´m sorry, Uzumaki-San. Please forgive me."

It was impossible _not_ to do so.

"It´s okay. You have to think about a few things when you have to become the next Hokage. And I´m sure you´ll be a great successor to the Third, even if you didn´t want the job."

She took a deep breath to calm herself and lifted her head to look at him. She would not let him –

He was smiling.

It was a small and bitter smile, nothing like the cheerful, happy smile he used to wear whenever she had seen him before. It was a smile that told her about how he felt, how he hated the fact that in their world, children had to grow up without parents, how they had to be sent to sale themselves in order to survive, was it because they had no family or because they were told to do so. It was a smile that told her he had had a family, he had had a protected childhood, and still, he did not have illusions about the fact that some children never even had been allowed to be children. The smile of the man that knew soon, the power over the entire village would fall into his hands, even though he did not want it, and who knew with this power, the fates of many, many people would be his to guide. For the first time, Kushina saw the real Namikaze Minato.

* * *

His hand still on her arm, ever the polite gentleman, he guided her back to the gates of the cemetery and held open the wings for her. He walked her back the whole way until she found herself in front of her little apartment, and he waited until she climbed the stairs before he left. Watching him from the top of the staircase flight, Kushina saw his lone figure walking down the street briskly, his shoulders set in determination, his blond hair glittering in the morning sun. At the end of the road, he turned one last time, saw her watching him and gave her a genuine smile and a slight wave. Then he disappeared.

Kushina closed the door quietly so she wouldn´t wake her siblings and leaned against it, hands pressed on her suddenly hammering heart.

The people were wrong. Kushina wasn´t in love with Namikaze Minato.

But he could make her fall in love with him.


End file.
